We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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