The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
