there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
