I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
