he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
