I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I want her autograph on my taint
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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