Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
