she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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