Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
