idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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