Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the day after is always just damage control
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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