Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
