I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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