a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
