Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize