the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
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he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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