so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
false alarm, still single
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
