Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
