why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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