oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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