You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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