are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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