i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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