The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
