Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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