It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
