the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
