I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
