there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
