ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
