i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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