Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
