Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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