Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
