I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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