i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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