First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
