I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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