At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
