god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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