I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
