**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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