Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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