how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
honey bunches of taint.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize