i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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