You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
