just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize