I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
