you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
