Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
