Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
