There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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