He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
