You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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