i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
