She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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