I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need to sanitize my soul.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
