i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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