We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
