This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
