Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's the barista slut.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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