Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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