She's JV to your varsity
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
