I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
