and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
