I forgot how hot balto sounded
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
